Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Being in love gives you a sense of confidence - fleeting or permanent?

Observe a person in love and you'll notice how each footstep starts with a confident heel touching the ground and then bounces off at the ball of the foot, with the 'springy' energy spread right to the tip of the toe. Notice how his or her head is held higher, the chin is up and that sparkle in the eye. All these are cues of self-confidence. The sense of assurance and self-worth that's free from doubt. Why? Because someone loves you. The power of assurance from that one single source is able to defeat years of doubt brewed internally and solicited externally. It's almost a sense of self renewal. The question is, is this temporary or is this true confidence just needing someone to unleash it?

Let's face it. Everyone's self-worth to a certain extent is relative to what others perceive them to be. There is no definitive measurement of how much a person is worth. Let only the Divine judge these things. Therefore, every human being is worthy in an absolute way. In an ideal world, there isn't a case where someone is worthier than another. But such is the reality of life, especially when we are so used to measuring our own worthiness via the level of acceptance by other people, especially our partners. Which I guess explains why when we're in love, we feel like we could do extraordinary things. We could take on the world and be the next Brave Heart. Why? Because of Love. The most powerful four letter word in the world. But such confidence sizzles and eventually fizzles out, especially in the modern times where the term 'ever-lasting love' has expired. It is such an amusing observation, not what we will do in the name of love. But what we think we can do, due to the chemistry change in us that boosts the serotonin level in our system. Truth be told, that really is the spark that started the 'temporary high'.

Of course, be in love! Be confident about it! It's an awesome feeling and should not be robbed of anyone. But just be wary that it may not be something that's permanent. Permanent confidence takes a lot more than just feeling airy about a relationship. Permanent confidence is built up through the years via encouragement and love (a verb, not noun) from our partner and also the people around us.

It's funny that we're all born equal with the same absolute measurement of self-worth. Yet, as we grow older, we need others to validate our existence. And the more important that person is to us, the heavier the evaluation will be worth.